_edited_edited.png)
Let me start off by saying I am not a licensed therapist, counselor, or other special doctor that handles trauma. I'm just a person that has healed (and is still healing everyday), after many traumatic events at various stages of my life.
I don't share my story with many, but the few whom I've shared with always ask the same question. How do you keep going and continue smiling everyday?
There is no special secret, I wake up everyday and choose me. I decide everyday if I'm going to fight for me or let whatever battle comes take me out. Each time the answer is always the same. I will always fight for me.
I refuse to lie and say healing from such emotional pain is easy. I compare my healing journey to my temporary sciatica I had after an accident. The pain was definitely a 10 at times, but once I got through the most painful part of my journey, the relief and the release of the pain was pure freedom. For those of you who have never experienced sciatica, think of labor pains or passing a kidney stone. Basically pain that radiates through your entire body.
Yes, it sucks both the traumatic experience and the healing, but if you survived the experience(s) and you are here to tell your story (whether you want to or not), then you are brave enough to heal through it. Most days it may seem like it's easier to suppress
what happened, the emotions, the fear, flashbacks, but healing from it feels much better.
Soon I'll share more details of my experiences in hopes it helps and inspires others to keep going, because those dark days are very fucking dark and lonely, but there is light at the end of the "tunnel". The tunnel being the hell you're in because of the craziness and chaos you've been through.
Without going into too much detail now, some of the traumas I've experienced include:
Childhood traumas
Molestation
Teenage traumas
Multiple rapes
Domestic violence (2 x times near death experiences)
and much more.
Yes, there is more. Again, no stranger to pain and trauma. It's not that easy to share, but here I am being brave.
Traumatic experiences can have a profound impact on our lives, leaving us feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and unsure of how to move forward. Whether it's the aftermath of a physical assault, a natural disaster, or the death of a loved one, the road to healing can be a long and difficult one. However, it's important to remember that healing is possible, and there are steps you can take to begin the process. Go at your own pace, this is not a race, it's your journey and your story.
Here are some tips on how to begin to heal after traumatic experiences:
Acknowledge your feelings: It's normal to feel a range of emotions after a traumatic event, including sadness, anger, fear, guilt, and shame. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and acknowledge that they are a natural response to what you've been through. Don't try to suppress or ignore your feelings, as this can prolong the healing process. Suggestions on how to begin to do this:
Go for a walk alone somewhere you're comfortable crying if you need to let it out. Make sure it's a safe space.
Meditate - Sit quietly, alone with some relaxing music and just relax your mind. Go to the beach, woods, park, or in your backyard. Make sure it's a safe space.
Yoga/Running - An exercise or activity that allows you to relax your mind and release feelings while you move your body. Make this unique to you and your life experience. If you prefer, go to the gym, belly dance, play basketball, jump rope, go swimming, or fishing.
Sit in your car - Park somewhere safe or in your driveway and turn on the music, affirmations, reading, whatever floats your boat. If you don't have a car, find a place where you can sit peacefully without being disturbed. Other options - tree house, balcony, spot in your backyard, family/friends yard or secluded space, a quiet spot with little or no interruptions.
Go for a drive/bus ride/train ride/ - Take yourself on a road trip. Grab your favorite snacks and drinks and take the scenic route or back roads to your local park or beach. Apply to where you live, and the options available to you. If you live in the DMV take a day trip to a nearby city/state north or south, plenty of sites to see between NYC and NC. Change of scenery can help purge emotions.
Seek support: It's important to have a support system in place as you begin to heal. This could include friends, family, a therapist, a support group, or support animal. Talking to someone who understands and does not judge what you're going through can help you feel less alone and provide valuable emotional support. Please make sure it's someone you trust that will listen and help you process. Not someone who will add another traumatic experience. When you feel alone it may seem like there is no one, but do your research, there are others like you. When you feel comfortable letting it out then let it out. If you've had multiple experiences, start with the experience you're most comfortable sharing first and go from there.
Practice self-care: Trauma can take a toll on both your physical and emotional well-being. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in regular exercise. Make time for activities that you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time outdoors. When you're in survival mode for so long stopping for a moment may seem weird, but we all need to relax our brains now and then to rejuvenate our souls. Take the moments to do the things you love. Create the "me time" activity into your calendar as a daily activity. I decided to go vegan and stop drinking alcohol to get my body and mind in the best shape and it worked wonders for me. 10 years ago I would have never thought I'd be a vegan and alcohol free including wine with meals. Just like trauma has a way of changing you, so does the healing. When you take the time to yourself you'll figure out what self care means to you on your healing journey.
Consider therapy: Trauma therapy can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies. A therapist can provide a safe and supportive environment for you to explore your emotions and work through any lingering trauma. Finding the right therapist is crucial. There are apps that allow you to pick your therapist based on your traumas and if you're religious, based on your faith. Make sure you're in a safe space with your therapist, and you're both clear about your therapy goals. Be ready to be honest with yourself and about your story. Remember it's ok to cry when you release all that pain. The tears actually help you grow.
Side Note: My first experience with a therapist was ok, but the freedom to just release all the bottled up emotions is what pushed me to start to heal. My therapist was in tears when I finished my story of just one of my traumas. I thought "wow am I that fucked up". Turns out, they cried because after listening to so many broken people tell their stories, I was the first to ever show so much resilience and determination to not stay broken. That encouraged me more and gave me the confidence to get through the healing process. Again, can't stress enough everyone's journey is different.
Be patient with yourself: Healing takes time, and there may be setbacks along the way. It's important to be patient with yourself and recognize that healing is a process. Don't expect yourself to be "over it" overnight, and don't be too hard on yourself if you're struggling. During my healing journey I realized the setbacks and rejections were just blessings and lessons. I grew up Christian, but consider myself spiritual these days, if I must have a title. However, the following bible verse explains love and at times I would read this to make sure I loved myself during my healing journey. Be not only patient but honest with yourself, you can't rush the process, learn and grow in each moment.
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Find meaning in your experience: While traumatic experiences can be incredibly difficult, they can also provide opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Consider how your experience has changed you and what you've learned from it. Finding meaning in your experience can help you move forward and find a sense of purpose. For example: You could feel like the most fucked up person on the planet because of all the shit you've been through. Heal and open your eyes to the world of fucked up individuals just like you or worst. That pushes you to realize your purpose is to help others begin their healing journey. Who wants guidance from someone who has not been through the struggle? Whatever the "struggle" means to you. Alcoholism, addictions, survivor of abuse, survivor of sex trafficking, survivor of a murder attempt, or all of the above. There are multiple ways to help others like:
Writing a book, web series, or script
Become a counselor/therapist
Become an advocate or spokesperson
Start a non-profit
Rescue others from traumatic experiences
Provide a safe space during someone's healing journey
We were all born with special skills, use them to help others. Turn your pain into purpose.
In conclusion, healing from traumatic experiences is a process that takes time and patience, and random crying sessions. It's important to acknowledge your feelings, seek support, practice self-care, consider therapy, be patient with yourself, find meaning in your experience, and fall in love with yourself. While it may not be easy, healing is possible, and taking these steps can help you begin to move forward. The dark days are dark, but when the sun finally comes out shining so bright, it's the best feeling in the world.
Check out the shop to grab your "I'm Healing" T-shirt. Our "I'm Healing" T-shirts are a reminder that you're on the path to healing and that you're strong enough to overcome any obstacles.
Made with high-quality eco-friendly materials and available in a range of sizes and colors, these T-shirts are comfortable and stylish. They feature a simple yet powerful message that can inspire you and those around you.
Wear your "I'm Healing" T-shirt as a statement of your resilience and determination to overcome your challenges. It's also a great way to start conversations and raise awareness about the importance of mental health and healing.
Order your "I'm Healing" T-shirt today and take the first step towards healing and growth.
Comments